Help...Please.

No seriously.... serious issues in here please..

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Jess
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Help...Please.

Post by Jess » 08 Feb 2008, 11:57

Right, I found out yesterday that my best friend is in some what of a difficult relationship.
The guy she is with has started being rather stalker like, my friend doesn't really feel anything for this bloke but wont finish it because there isn't anyone else she wants to get with right now. In my opinion that's stupid...Here's the story,

My friend heard some rumours that this bloke had slept with his ex, to which she really didn't care, but after her bloke asked why she was being a bit snappy/distant, she explained that it was down to the fact his friends had told her this. They were parked on her drive way at this point, when she wouldn't tell him who told her, he locked the car doors, reversed extremely quickly out of her drive and took her up to Greenham Common, where he kept the doors locked so they could 'chat'.
He has also rung her before and she has said she wasn't in, to which he replied 'well I can see your shadow in your room.', he was parked outside of her house. He also doesn't like her seeing her friends or texting people.

Now if you ask me, this isn't a good relationship to be in, I told her how I felt last night and she just laughed it off. Her problem is that she doesn't take anything seriously, especially this, which she really needs to!
I'm really pretty scared of what this bloke might do next, maybe I'm about to exaggerate slightly, but if he can innitaly kidnap her, he could do alot worse and I don't want a call from her mum or have to call her mum to say she's in a ditch!
This bloke has recently lost his brother and his uncle, so I can understand that he is grieving but he needs to NOT take his anger out on my best friend! He has also said that she is the best thing that's ever happened to him, so he's clinging to her because everything else has gone so wrong recently. It all seems like a huge mess and I'm stuck with what to do :(
Mirror mirror can you tell
If they are kneeling in confession or if they just fell?
The mirror looks back and it knows damn well
It's really hard living when you're living with yourself.

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Re: Help...Please.

Post by chippy » 08 Feb 2008, 12:29

Christ, I'm not sure why she would need any more reasons to break up with him. Unfortunately he hasn't done anything illegal or dangerous yet, so you can't get the police involved. What about talking to her mum about it?
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Jess » 08 Feb 2008, 12:35

She has already asked me not to tell her mum, so I wont, her mum would be just as fucked off as I am. Oh a slight up date, she 'tested' him earlier, by leaving her phone on the bed, which resulted in him reading the messages I'd sent her yesterday. He's not a happy bunny now.
Mirror mirror can you tell
If they are kneeling in confession or if they just fell?
The mirror looks back and it knows damn well
It's really hard living when you're living with yourself.

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Re: Help...Please.

Post by metal_dave » 08 Feb 2008, 12:38

sounds like a right loony/bell end. you could try telling the story to an off duty copper or something and see what they suggest. that way at least you're not wasting police time or anything.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by chippy » 08 Feb 2008, 12:42

Ok, this doesn't really make a lot of sense. From the facts you've given us I'd be forced to draw one of three conclusions:

1. She's lying to you about her feelings for him
2. She's mad/stupid.
3. She is one of these people that has to be with someone, even if that someone is a psycho, because they don't like being alone.

This

my friend doesn't really feel anything for this bloke but wont finish it because there isn't anyone else she wants to get with right now.


Kind of supports theory number 3.

Could any of these be the case?
Last edited by chippy on 08 Feb 2008, 12:49, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Jess » 08 Feb 2008, 12:48

I highly doubt she is lying to me and I know for a fact that she isn't mad. I think I'd have noticed somewhere along the 18years. She has changed a bit since working with the twats at Chicargos though, so it's possible she is with him for that reason. She said she wanted a 'proper' relationship. This one really is not one of those. I'd have gone mental if someone had done that to me. Worried and upset :( The fact she doesn't listen doesn't help either.
Mirror mirror can you tell
If they are kneeling in confession or if they just fell?
The mirror looks back and it knows damn well
It's really hard living when you're living with yourself.

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Re: Help...Please.

Post by chippy » 08 Feb 2008, 12:50

So is it number 3 then? I'm not sure what to suggest. I would tell her Mum personally, it seems like the only thing you actually can do.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by metal_dave » 08 Feb 2008, 12:51

chippy wrote:Ok, this doesn't really make a lot of sense. From the facts you've given us I'd be forced to draw one of three conclusions:

1. She's lying to you about her feelings for him
2. She's mad/stupid.
3. She is one of these people that has to be with someone, even if that someone is a psycho, because they don't like being alone.

This

my friend doesn't really feel anything for this bloke but wont finish it because there isn't anyone else she wants to get with right now.


Kind of supports theory number 3.

Could any of these be the case?




oh yeah, i didn't notice that bit. what a fucking ridiculous reason to stay with somebody.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Charley » 08 Feb 2008, 13:19

Jess - I'll offline this with ya!
Cast a vote
Take the blame
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Feel no shame
Close your eye
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by chippy » 08 Feb 2008, 13:24

jess to be perfectly honest i think your best bet is probably to boot her in the chuff.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Jess » 08 Feb 2008, 13:27

Haha Joe said that yesterday too. Although that was aimed at the fact she was real late and being a bit shite. I hate the fact people can change someone you've known all your life and not even in a good way
Mirror mirror can you tell
If they are kneeling in confession or if they just fell?
The mirror looks back and it knows damn well
It's really hard living when you're living with yourself.

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Re: Help...Please.

Post by chippy » 08 Feb 2008, 13:40

TMS wrote:Jess - I'll offline this with ya!


i bet you won't. i bet you'l actually send her a pm or something.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Charley » 08 Feb 2008, 13:44

chippy wrote:
TMS wrote:Jess - I'll offline this with ya!


i bet you won't. i bet you'l actually send her a pm or something.


I bet I'll kick you in the chuff!
Cast a vote
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His arm is loaded
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Lord_Blacknose » 08 Feb 2008, 14:25

chippy wrote:jess to be perfectly honest i think your best bet is probably to boot her in the chuff.


I am actualy seconding this.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Ginger » 08 Feb 2008, 15:34

Jess, if i were you i would sit er down and give her a serious talking too. Then if she still laughed it off i'd say if she doens't so anything about it i will tell her mum because she is being very very stupid. As she is a girl i reckon she'll get all shirty with you and you may have a fight but to be honest if she really means this much to you you'll risk that to keep her safe. Good luck!She'll thank you in the end.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by elliott » 08 Feb 2008, 16:47

I'd personally stay out of it. Sounds to me like she actually likes him but isn't telling you that part of the story.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Charley » 08 Feb 2008, 17:16

I think you're all idiots!
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Ginger » 08 Feb 2008, 17:21

Why?
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Charley » 08 Feb 2008, 17:31

Cuz it really doesn't help at all - OK, so my saying "you're all idiots" doesn't help either, and I take the extremity of my comment back.

I just really wish people wouldn't be so judgmental and analytical of a situation without the full low down.
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Close your eye
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Jess » 08 Feb 2008, 18:08

elliott wrote:I'd personally stay out of it. Sounds to me like she actually likes him but isn't telling you that part of the story.



If some jerk locks my best mate in a car, drives her to a common and proceeds to keep her locked in there, I'm pretty unlikely to 'stay out of it'.
Mirror mirror can you tell
If they are kneeling in confession or if they just fell?
The mirror looks back and it knows damn well
It's really hard living when you're living with yourself.

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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Charley » 08 Feb 2008, 19:04

Jess wrote:
elliott wrote:I'd personally stay out of it. Sounds to me like she actually likes him but isn't telling you that part of the story.



If some jerk locks my best mate in a car, drives her to a common and proceeds to keep her locked in there, I'm pretty unlikely to 'stay out of it'.


Good point well made, Jess.

Will try and catch up with you proper tomorrow. Am feeling like a zombie at the mo with this nasty cold/flu bug thing - brain's a mash.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by metal_dave » 08 Feb 2008, 19:15

i'll kill the dude for five grand.


just throwing it out there.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Alka » 09 Feb 2008, 05:32

I know you're not going to stay out of it, because who would? But, she sees no danger here. Perhaps there is none. Perhaps she exaggerated this whole 'kidnapping' thing and while I don't think it's right to go through someone's phone, I know people who've done it with no sinister intentions.

She's probably just loving the drama of it, and you're contributing to that. If you're really, really worried, tell her mum/older siblings/someone who can keep an eye pretty much all the time.
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by slim » 09 Feb 2008, 11:51

Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

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Re: Help...Please.

Post by dink » 04 Aug 2008, 22:51

Cuz it really doesn't help at all - OK, so my saying "you're all idiots" doesn't help either, and I take the extremity of my comment back.

I just really wish people wouldn't be so judgmental and analytical of a situation without the full low down.


1) Who was being judgemental and analytical?
2) Whoever was being judgemental and analytical was only trying to judge and analyse the situation according to the information given by jess - can't blame them for not having the full lowdown!
3)so there. Charley you're grand. Just wanted to say my piece. And off I trot for another 6 months of a snail free life.

SEEYA!
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Charley » 05 Aug 2008, 10:19

I hope that none of you ever end up in a similar situation to that person or any other in that kind of relationship.

Until you've got it all first hand, be careful what you say to/of someone in that situation - you can more often than not do more harm than good.

The judgemental comment comes from people assuming a person is weak, mad, thick, needy to remain in a harmful relationship, no matter what degree of harm there is.

Sticks and stones may break a persons bones, but the mental control never leaves a person.
Cast a vote
Take the blame
Torn from the mother
Feel no shame
Close your eye
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His arm is loaded
Could be your brother

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Re: Help...Please.

Post by campy » 08 Aug 2008, 12:02

Do a barrel roll...
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by LittleTill » 20 Aug 2008, 10:34

dink wrote:
Cuz it really doesn't help at all - OK, so my saying "you're all idiots" doesn't help either, and I take the extremity of my comment back.

I just really wish people wouldn't be so judgmental and analytical of a situation without the full low down.


1) Who was being judgemental and analytical?
2) Whoever was being judgemental and analytical was only trying to judge and analyse the situation according to the information given by jess - can't blame them for not having the full lowdown!
3)so there. Charley you're grand. Just wanted to say my piece. And off I trot for another 6 months of a snail free life.

SEEYA!


thought you'd left ... forever?
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Re: Help...Please.

Post by Meta4rik » 20 Aug 2008, 21:26

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing".


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